The moment I knew: as he opened the Uber door, he opened my eyes to a love beyond work
Ash Jacks McCready had low expectations for her first date with Tom, but after an awkward start, their relationship moved fast and wild
In high school I was in an all-consuming relationship with one thing: dance. Any free time I had was spent on working towards a coveted spot at a performance company.
As soon as I graduated school in Brisbane, I left to begin my career as a performer.
After moving around the world for work, I landed my dream job as an assistant creative director at Cirque du Soleil in 2019. But as I was settling into my new life in Los Angeles, the pandemic shut everything down. I was let go from a job I had worked my entire life towards.
When I moved back to my parents’ place in Noosa, I felt lost for the first time in my life.
Surfing the dating apps helped break up the monotony of my days. I connected with a couple of guys but nothing eventuated. Until a familiar face popped up on my screen: Tom from high school. He had caught my eye back then, and his profile pictures showed me he still had it. But we had been in different social circles and had rarely crossed paths.
We matched on the app and he sent the first message. I told him he looked familiar and we exchanged some small talk.
The first time he asked me out, I declined as I was set on leaving Australia as soon as everything reopened. The second and third times, I cancelled at the last minute. I was an unemployed circus person and he was a guy who worked in finance. What on earth were we going to have in common?
By the fourth time, I surprised us both by agreeing, realising I didn’t have anything to lose and the pandemic was going to last much longer than three weeks.
We planned to meet at his house and he ordered an Uber to pick me up. I waited outside looking like a total dag with wet hair and baggy clothes. My low expectations for the date meant I didn’t put in too much effort.
When the Uber arrived, I was startled when he opened the door for me as I wasn’t expecting him to be inside. When he held my hand to help me into the car, I knew I had made a grave mistake by cancelling all the other dates. His looks were obvious, but his politeness struck me.
I had a bit of life under my belt before I met Tom, so I was surprised that men like him still existed. The simple act made me realise there were people worth slowing down for.
It also helped that we got along. Although we had taken different life paths, we were both very driven – not only in our respective fields but also in striving to be the best versions of ourselves. This understanding made it feel as though we had known each other forever – which was somewhat true.
I ended the first date early as I thought I had blown it and was embarrassed with the careless outfit I’d worn. But thankfully, after 24 hours of painful silence, he messaged to ask if I wanted to try again. After that, our relationship was like a fire – it was wild and moved very fast. He drove up from Brisbane every weekend to visit me in Noosa. I counted down the days until we would be together again.
The time we spent together opened my eyes to a life and love outside of work. I wanted to grasp hold of it with both hands. We moved in together a few months after that less-than-ideal first date.
A short time later I got a call from Cirque asking me back. I was also pregnant with our first child. I happily declined and for the first time I didn’t feel left out for not touring.
I loved my new life as a soon-to-be mother, but that didn’t stop me from creating, especially with Tom’s encouragement and support. When I was 36 weeks pregnant with our first child he helped me produce my own show called Cirque Bon Bon. In the days after giving birth to my second child via an emergency caesarean section, Tom pushed me around the theatre in a wheelchair, helping me with the final touches for opening night.
First loves are incomparable and mine has always been dance. I didn’t think I could feel this type of love anywhere else, until Tom and my family came along. Now I create for an audience of not just thousands but for three.
Ash Jacks McCready is the creative director of Cirque Alice at the Coliseum theatre in Sydney from 24 December to 4 January