The kindness of strangers: I felt self-conscious studying law, then a classmate praised my op-shop suit

It was a nice suit but it hadn’t exactly been tailored to fit me properly. Thanks to her, I walked into class with confidence

I started law school in 1976. Gough Whitlam had abolished university fees, which meant a lot of older women who previously wouldn’t have been able to afford to study were arriving at uni for the first time.

I was 17 and nursing an otherness of my own. One day in class, our lecturer asked everyone who had attended a private high school to raise their hand. The sea of arms that shot up revealed that, in a class of 30 people, I was the only one who’d come from a state school. The lecturer didn’t do this cruelly – he was making a point about lawyers being privileged people, and how that affects the legal system. But I nonetheless felt very confronted by the different world my peers came from.

At one point in that class we had to do a moot court and were instructed to wear a suit. My family wasn’t poor but we certainly didn’t have the money lying around to head to the shops and buy me one for the occasion. My mother had the idea that we could look for a suit in an op shop, where we successfully picked one up.

It was a nice suit but I knew where it had come from, and that it hadn’t exactly been tailored to fit me properly. I was feeling self-conscious and shy when I arrived wearing it that day at university.

There was a woman in my class who must have only been in her mid-20s but to me was incredibly cool and mature. We walked past each other on the way in and she said: “Oh Brian, you look really smart.” It meant so much to me coming from her, because I saw her as this worldly, wise woman. Those few words from her flipped the way I was feeling about myself. Thanks to her, I walked into class with confidence and did well in the moot court.

I went on to have a successful career in law but I never forgot that woman – her words became part of me. I have tried through my career and life to honour her gesture in my dealings with others. She showed me the power our words have.

I don’t remember ever seeing her after that first year, so I’m not sure if she continued on with her degree. I wish I’d got to thank her and tell her how much that kindness stuck with me. I hope she had the best possible life.

What is the nicest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

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