Dining across the divide: ‘We both agreed Brexit was a disaster - but disagreed about who was responsible for that’

A university researcher and a property manager may have found (some) common ground on leaving the EU – but what about affordable homes?

Graham, 76, Pangbourne

Occupation Property manager

Voting record Always Conservative

Amuse bouche Cycled from Land’s End to John o’Groats, taking five days to get to the Scottish border – then another four days to get to the end. Scotland is much bigger than you think

Katherine, 53, Bath

Occupation University researcher

Voting record Historically, Labour but Lib Dem now due to the Lib Dem/Tory face-off in Bath

Amuse bouche Spent a week walking about 75 miles of the Camino way in Spain with friends. Did not carry bags or stay in traditional hostels

For starters

Graham She was younger than I was expecting. When you meet someone you’ve never met before and you know you’re going to discuss things that can be contentious, there’s always going to be a frisson. But she was good company, very good.

Katherine He seemed very lovely and friendly. We both had mussels and sea bream, and then I had blackcurrant sorbet, and he had a very nice blood orange pudding.

The big beef

Graham I definitely am a Europhile – my only reservation was the federalisation. But on the other hand, I thought we could become the United States of Europe and be a big strong trading group, part of the most powerful force in the world. Most of the Europeans are pretty simpatico, most of us are related, we have a very similar outlook. I thought if we were in it, we could try to influence that. I was so disappointed when the result came in. I don’t blame David Cameron – he came with a mandate to offer everyone a vote, and that’s what he did.

Katherine We both agreed that Brexit was always going to be a disaster, and it has turned out to be a complete disaster. But we disagreed about who was responsible for that – I felt David Cameron acted with such arrogance. He called it, he didn’t think he could lose, then when he did he just buggered off. Graham thought Jeremy Corbyn was at least somewhat responsible, because he so obviously was a Brexiter and wasn’t clear in his public-facing statements.

Graham Corbyn at the time was awful, sitting on the fence. I thought if anyone had heard the positive case for remain more forcefully, it could have gone differently. Corbyn seemed to want to let the Conservative party fall into a trap. Nigel Farage is very clever, he’s very good, a very good speaker.

Katherine The sheer opportunism of Farage, the hideous way he behaved in the European parliament, and not having any stake in implementation. I said he was vile, and Graham said that was a bit strong.

Sharing plate

Graham Her view was that second homes were bought up by outsiders in the UK, driving up prices so people couldn’t afford one home. It makes it difficult for people to buy their first home if they grew up somewhere that’s very nice. If you were born in Richmond, of course you wouldn’t be able to buy your first flat there. But you’d move somewhere else.

Katherine He agreed there was a housing shortage, that a lack of supply causes problems. He wasn’t unsympathetic to anyone else’s plight. I don’t know how informed I am, so again I’m a bit reticent, but I think it’s quite hard now for young people to buy a home. When we were young, it was hard but it was possible, whereas I don’t think that holds any more.

Graham I pointed out that it was difficult to buy your first property when I was 22 or 23. It was only because I got into a better-paying job that I was able to do it. It wasn’t easy.

For afters

Katherine Sometimes people use the word “woke” as a pejorative for someone who’s basically behaving quite decently. It is, in my opinion, a very good thing for people not to be racist or homophobic or misogynistic. I’ve even read about scientists working on solutions to climate change being called woke. That gets up my nose.

Graham I don’t think you should marginalise anybody. Where do you stop? Do you get to people with red hair, or who are tall, or overweight? As soon as you marginalise somebody, they become a victim.

Takeaways

Graham We didn’t exchange emails or anything, but it was friendly. I thought it would be nice to meet as couples.

Katherine I did have a lovely time with him. He was a very nice man.

Additional reporting: Kitty Drake

• Graham and Katherine ate at The Circus Restaurant, Bath

Want to meet someone from across the divide? Find out how to take part