Jason Fox and his brother Mathieu: ‘We still connect like we did, only without the fighting or falling out of trees’
The SAS: Who Dares Wins star and his younger sibling on their childhood fights, their dad’s stories and the stress of returning to normal life after military service
Born in 1976 in Plymouth, Jason Fox is a British television personality and former Royal Marine Commando and Special Forces sergeant. He joined the military at the age of 16 and left in 2012 following a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder. Three years later, he fronted Channel 4’s SAS: Who Dares Wins and went on to present documentaries including The Final Mission: Foxy’s War. He has written books such as Battle Scars and Life Under Fire, and co-founded the charity Rock2Recovery to support veterans. He tours across the UK with his show Embrace the Chaos from 10 March. His brother, Mathieu, is a tree surgeon.
Jason
That’s me in the red jumper. Our parents clearly loved to have a laugh at our expense. All the clothes would have been secondhand because we didn’t have much cash. Whatever clothes I wore, Mathieu would inherit as a hand-me-down two years later. People said we looked similar when we were kids, but I think he looks older than me now! We grew up on the outskirts of Luton, in a three-bed council house. My brother and I were pretty inseparable. We were outdoorsy and loved sport, and both of us struggled a bit with the academic side of school. He always went much further when it came to doing naughty stuff, whereas I had more of an inbuilt appreciation of risk. My nan and grandad had a tree in their back garden – we’d climb it, but he would always go too far up. One time, he fell out.
Together, we tested our parents’ boundaries. At about 10, we came of fighting age. He is my little brother, so naturally I found him annoying, but in retrospect I was probably out of order. We slept in bunk beds. One time I must have irritated him, as he ended up kicking the ceiling and putting his foot through the plaster. I also pushed him through a school window. He didn’t hurt himself, thank God: he picked himself up, dusted himself down, checked for cuts and bruises, and pissed himself laughing. Whenever we did something bad, Dad would come home and dish out the discipline. Fortunately, our fighting phase didn’t last too long, as I left home at 16.
Why did I join the Marines? Well, I royally mucked up my GCSEs. I didn’t apply myself. I didn’t want to be a failure, and I knew I needed to circuit-break what was going on. My dad was an inspiration, too. He had been in the Marines, but left when I was a baby. He’d tell us stories, and I loved the sound of it. He took us to see the Commando Training Centre when we were kids, and also took us on holiday to Scotland and Cornwall, where he taught us how to map-read, tie knots and learn about the great outdoors. We’d go out for long walks and he’d get us to retrace our footsteps. All of that had a huge influence on both of us.
A few years after I signed up, my brother followed suit. I joined the Special Forces in 2001, then 9/11 happened and I went away on deployment. I’d be walking off the back of an aircraft and see him walking on. We wouldn’t get time to talk – it was more, “Hey, how’s it going?” Never once did I worry about him, and I doubt he worried about me. It took me years to even think about the impact it had on our parents. My dad’s pretty stoical, but for my mum, having her two boys away for 10 years must have been incredibly difficult.
The Marines taught me to have confidence in dangerous environments. They don’t just throw you in at the deep end – they nurture you. I spent a decade subconsciously conditioning myself to deal with very difficult, stressful situations.
When I was diagnosed with PTSD, I left the military. Although I initially felt the diagnosis fit the bill, I have since questioned it. I was trained to cope with stress to an extremely high standard, but the real challenge was the transition back to “normal” life, not the severity of what we experienced in the military. I was coming home from faraway places and didn’t have the ability to reintegrate.
When you’re a frontline troop doing six to nine months on little sleep, your cortisol levels are constantly firing and it offsets the rest of your internal organs. I would be shot to bits after a tour. Then I’d come home and struggle to establish a solid family base. There were arguments, and we had no money. I was still looking for that burst of adrenaline at two o’clock in the morning – the time you’d normally have a gunfight with the enemy – but the threat wasn’t there. I was miserable to be around and ended up getting divorced. Eventually, opening up to people about how I felt was a huge turning point.
In 2015, I started working in TV. It was a strange career path for me, but one I’ve really enjoyed. Doing SAS: Who Dares Wins is always a surprise. Gareth Gates stands out. My perception of him was shaped by his time on Pop Idol – an underconfident teenager with a stammer – but he turned out to be incredibly impressive. And Bobby Norris from Towie went from being absolutely terrible to a frontrunner.
I don’t get to see my brother as much as I’d like. He lives in Devon and I live in London. But when we do spend time together, we still connect like we did as kids. We went for a stomp around Dartmoor recently and did a bit of living off the land, just like we used to – only this time there was no fighting or falling out of trees.
Mathieu
At this age, my brother and I were really close – best mates. We hated each other for while, but once we were both in the military, that bonded us again. My earliest memories of Jason are playing in the snow or watching Dad play rugby. As energetic boys, we were often messing about and rolling around in the mud. Jason was protective of me at school. If someone started badmouthing me or being aggressive, he was the first to step in. He did push me through a window once, but I probably deserved it. Dad would have to pull over if we were scrapping in the back of the car. He’s a loving parent with a soft nature, but if you crossed him, he’d whip us into line. It clearly worked in the long run – just look at my brother now.
I wasn’t sad when Jason joined the military. I got his bedroom, so I was quite excited. But I did miss him. I really looked up to him, and when he came home he’d tell stories that inspired me – especially when he became a sergeant in the Special Forces. Some people scrape through and get in, but Jason did everything with flying colours.
What the military does to your brain isn’t normal, but we were trained both physically and mentally. When you come home, it’s incredibly hard to adjust. I went from fighting in Afghanistan to arguing with my stepdaughters over whose turn it was to use the hair straighteners. I feel lucky my brother went through it, too, because he understands. There’s a mutual respect, which is why we’re so close now.
How do I feel about Jason being “TV’s tough guy”? I don’t want to ruin his reputation – but off duty, at home, he’s just a gentle giant.