TV tonight: buckle up for a twisty, trippy group holiday from hell
Jessica Raine and Leila Farzad star in a fun new drama. Plus, Destination X meets The Traitors in Danny Dyer and Emily Atack’s new game show. Here’s what to watch this evening
Two Weeks in August
9pm, BBC One
Group holidays are rarely a success. But spare a thought for people-pleaser Zoe (Jessica Raine) and down-on-his-luck Dan (Damien Malony), skint and recovering from a taboo family trauma, as they set off for a pricey week in Greece with their old uni friends. But what better way to put everyone at ease on the first night than a dodgy fish supper followed by some hallucinogenic mushrooms? Leila Farzad, Dolly Wells and Hugh Skinner also star in this twisty, trippy, sun-soaked drama. Hollie Richardson
Bullseye for Soccer Aid
5.55pm, ITV1
Expect a lot of Soccer Aid content in the run-up to the charity football game’s 20th year, starting with this starry edition of the classic darts gameshow. Freddie Flintoff is back as host, with Kym Marsh and her sister-in-law Claire, Jon Richardson and Angela Barnes, and Olly Murs and Mark Wright taking their shots under score-keeper Richard Ashdown’s judging eye. HR
World’s Most Secret Hotels
8pm, Channel 4
A final roundup of global hotels in this Julie Walters-narrated series. In East Lothian, Scotland, the Bus Stop is a glamping spot with a twist: guests can sleep in the nine luxury buses. Over in Arizona, Castle Hot Springs can be found 11km down a dirt road near the Bradshaw Mountains thermal waters. HR
Cher at the BBC
9pm, BBC Two
Happy 80th birthday, Cher! To celebrate, the BBC is turning back time with clips of fabulous performances and chatshow moments. She is the only artist to have US Billboard No 1s in every decade between the 1960s and 2010s, with hits such as I Got You Babe, Walking in Memphis, Strong Enough and Believe. HR
Nobody’s Fool
9pm, ITV1
First impressions are everything in this new quiz presented by Danny Dyer and Emily Atack, where 10 contestants arrive at a manor and compete to see which of them can appear to be the most intelligent – with a £100,000 prize up for grabs. As a social experiment it’s a good yardstick for bluster and unconscious bias; as a competition show, it’s Destination X meets The Traitors. Priya Elan
Monsieur Spade
9pm, U& Drama
Clive Owen hits the perfect note of rumpled melancholy as Dashiell Hammett’s dogged gumshoe Sam Spade, now nominally retired but still stirring up all kinds of trouble in the south of France in 1963. As Spade’s investigation into the murder of six nuns continues, he finds himself embroiled in some jurisdictional friction with the Vatican. Graeme Virtue
Film choice
Is This Thing On?, out now, Disney
Inspired by the true story of how John Bishop came to be a comedian, Bradley Cooper’s new film is a biting, witty drama of marriage and midlife crisis. Will Arnett plays New York financier Alex, separated from wife Tess (Laura Dern) and feeling lost and lonely. One evening, he signs up for a bar’s open-mic night to avoid the entrance fee – and is unexpectedly energised after going on stage to vent about his life. His joie de vivre as he pursues standup-as-therapy rubs off on ex-volleyball star Tess, who has lost her own drive after becoming a mother. As a dissection of a relationship, it’s satisfyingly messy and nuanced, while a host of real-life acts make the comedy club scenes zing. Simon Wardell
Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan: Ghost War, out now, Prime Video
The John Krasinski-led espionage thriller will always be stuck in the shadow of Mission: Impossible, but there is an endless appetite for tales of spycraft that this fun feature-length outing caters for pretty well. Krasinski’s CIA analyst Jack Ryan offers an interesting contrast to the haunted Cruise: a more relaxed spook, he has a sturdy moral compass and a nice line in rather British understatement. Here, Ryan teams up with Sienna Miller’s MI6 agent to pursue Max Beesley’s rogue black ops operative – Ethan Hunt if he’d gone to the dark side – from London to Dubai. SW
My Favourite Cake, 9pm, BBC Four
Maryam Moghadam and Behtash Sanaeeha, the directors of this glorious, surprising film, were given 14-month suspended sentences last year for obscene content and propaganda against the Iranian state. On the surface, the bittersweet story of a 70-year-old Tehran widow (Lili Farhadpour) and her encounter with an elderly taxi driver (Esmaeel Mehrabi) seems inoffensive. But it proved subversive in a country where women’s lives are severely circumscribed – and where the simple pleasures of a man and a woman talking, dancing and eating together become radical acts. SW
Sleep, 11.40pm, Film4
In the spooky tradition of far east horror movies, but with a nod to The Exorcist, Jason Yu’s 2023 Korean film is an insomnia-inducing treat. Soo-jin (Jung Yu-mi) is expecting a baby any time now, but her actor husband, Hyun-soo (Lee Sun-kyun), has developed REM sleep behaviour disorder. This involves scratching his face, eating raw meat – and much, much worse. It’s a case of scientific rationality v supernatural faith, as Soo-jin becomes convinced he is possessed by a malevolent ghost. But are the psychological stresses of new motherhood at the root of her fears? SW
Live sport
Cycling: Giro d’Italia, 11.45am, TNT Sports 1 Stage 14, from Aosta to Pila.
Women’s Super League Football: Charlton v Leicester, 12.15pm, BBC Two Relegation play-off at the Valley.
Champions Cup Rugby Union: Leinster v Bordeaux Bègles, 1.45pm, ITV4 The final at Bilbao, Spain.
Women’s T20 Cricket: England v New Zealand, 2pm, Channel 5 From Canterbury. The final T20 is on Mon at 2pm on Sky Sports Cricket.
Championship Football: Hull v Middlesbrough, 3pm, Sky Sports Main Event The play-off final. Teams and date may change.
Women’s Champions League: Barcelona v Lyon, 4.30pm, BBC Two The final from Oslo, Norway.